A Shout for the Lonely

I've really been struggling with loneliness the last month... No, for the last year. My hearts been broken one too many times by people who were my friends. Who lashed out at me for no reason or just abandoned me.

I'm not a social butterfly, my younger sister inherited those gene's. But, I don't like being alone. I'm best with close intimate friends and family surrounding me.

I've always been the strong one. The encourager. The shoulder to lean or cry on. To cheer them up and make them smile again. I've always been glad to be there for others.

But this past year, I just haven't been strong enough to be that person. Not because I don't want to be. I wish I could just say "Bibidi Babadi Boo" and revert back to being the strong one. I feel like all my reserves have been tapped dry.

Nowadays, if someone comes to me, needing advice or a friend to lean on, my mind draws a blank. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like whoever I used to be has withdrawn into the deepest cave and is nowhere to be found. And, I feel everything I try to say or do isn't real. Like, I'm just acting what I think I know. Maybe I am subconsciously just second guessing myself. Every where I turn is another blank space. And, that that's why I can never find her.

I wonder.

Am I not meant to find her again and merely grow into something new?
Or is that my heart has hard chiseled edges now that need to be smoothed out?

I don't know which one it is, but what I do know is that they both need Jesus.

Jesus to lead, Jesus to rub off those rough edges.

It's hard. It hurts. Sometimes, a lot. I have to keep remembering, learning, building, keeping my foundation in Him.

And right now, that's all I can do.

~~~~~

A challenge to all of you.

Be patient with those around you.
Initiate with people who surround you.
Don't wait for them to come to you.

Let them know you are thinking about them, and keep interacting without expecting anything in return.
Sometimes, all they need is a pair of arms wrapped around them and to be reminded that "everything is going to be okay".

It's as simple as that.

~~~~

A shout out to those of you feeling alone.

Jesus knows your pain, He too suffered, but not just because of that. Because of his love for you, he hurts whenever we hurt. Have you ever hurt when you saw someone close to you hurting? That's how Jesus feels about you. He seeks to comfort you every time your heart feels empty. To catch every tear you shed. He know and never leaves your side.

So, really, you aren't so alone.

God bless and be with you, Amen.

Holding My Hand

Good afternoon everyone,

Since Sunday night, if you'll remember was a rough night. I honestly don't know what to do, what I feel, or how I should act. Well, I know how I should act but I'm so astonished that I'm having to do double-takes. 

How is it people can plot and plan and speak with such hatred and then pretend they care the rest of the time? 

I couldn't do it. 

I love people and when they hurt me I try not to let it show. I want to say I've forgiven them, but it's hard when the wound is still fresh and my enemies refuse to turn from their wicked schemes, truly handing over their soiled hearts to Jesus for cleansing. 

The other morning The Lord pulled me into the book of Psalms, reminding me of a few verse about evil people and their boasting. As I was reading these verses I started crying inside (I cried so much this week I think my tear ducks were worn out {Psalms 7:6-7}). The verses described exactly how I was feeling and what I felt was happening. 

"I am praying to you because I know you will answer, O God. Bend down and listen as I pray. Show me your unfailing love in wonderful ways. By your mighty power you rescue those who seek refuge from their enemies." ~Psalms 17:6-7 (NLT)

My heart prayed those words the other night. Even the next few verses my heart cried out to God. 

"They are without pity. Listen to their boasting! They track me down and surround me, watching for the chance to throw me to the ground. They are like hungry lions, eager to tear me apart--like young lions in hiding, waiting for their chance. Arise, O Lord! Stand against them, and bring them to their knees! Rescue me from the wicked with your sword!" ~Psalms 17:10--13 (NLT) 

But here's the verse that brought real tears to my eyes and hope to my heart.

"Because I am righteous, I will see you. When I awake, I will see you face to face and be satisfied." Psalms 17:15 (NLT) 

Despite it all, God is with me; despite what schemes the devil may plan to throw at me using these people, I will still see Jesus. Cause my heart is His, not the worlds. Not theirs, but His! As long as I keep my faith, which no one can take away from me, I will see Jesus. I will be up in Heaven with Him when he decides to call me home. Of course, I pray these people turn to Jesus too because Hell is not a place I want anyone to live in for eternity. But I am glad to say I do not have to worry about where I am going. My faith, trust, and hope is in Jesus.

"You've heard that the law of Moses says, 'Love your neighbor' and hate your enemy. But I say love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!" ~Matthew 5:43-44 (NLT)

So I must continue to pray for them and that they accept the true gift of salvation and turn from evil and give their lives completely over to Jesus! 

"God has heard my plea; the Lord will answer my prayer. May all my enemies be disgraced and terrified. May they suddenly turn back in shame." ~Psalms 79-10 (NLT)

As for me, He's holding me by his right hand, he will protect me and guide me {Psalms 73:23-34} to a better tomorrow. As He will with you. I will keep living for Him. 

"I have followed your commands, which have kept me from going along with cruel and evil people." ~Psalms 17:4

Thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus, THANK YOU JESUS!

"You will show me the way of life, granting me joy f your presence, and the pleasures of living with you forever." ~Psalms 16:11 (NLT)

This has been strong song the last few weeks! It lifts my spirits and helps me push forward!

"Courage -Feat. Lacey of Flyleaf" by Orianthi 

Stay Strong and Courageous!

GOD BLESS 

Feeling Sad but Still Strong

Had a bit of a rough afternoon, but it didn't last long. The rest of my day was great but the end was not. Again, the Devil is using people close to me to hurt me and today I just broke down and cried it out. Some people are so spiteful and manipulative, it gets exhausting and wears you down to the point you just gotta let it all out. 

I saw this quote a couple weeks ago and today God brought it up again when I needed to hear it.

"Sometimes the devil allows people to live a life free of trouble because he doesn't want them turning to God." --Movie, God's Not Dead

So, like today, when I experienced some hurt and difficulty of my own, I remembered this quote. Satan's just trying to avert me from God. And, since he couldn't do it by allowing a life free of trouble he is stirring it up. That's okay, even if it doesn't always feel like it and I just want to cry and throw in the towel, I remember God has my back. His arms are secured tightly around me, protecting me and catching all my tears.

Don't give up just because difficult circumstances come your way, take it as a sign your doing something good and the Devil is only trying to avert your attention. That is ALL it is.

Keep turning to God. Grow in Him. The Devil is crying out loud, but God need only whisper because is right beside you.

In Jesus name, #AMEN!

PS: Really wanting to see that movie even more now!