I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris

Book Description

Tired of the game? Kiss dating goodbye.

Going out? Been dumped? Waiting for a call that doesn't come? Have you tasted pain in dating, drifted through one romance or, possibly, several of them?

Ever wonder, Isn't there a better way?

I Kissed Dating Goodbye shows what it means to entrust your love life to God. Joshua Harris shares his story of giving up dating and discovering that God has something even better-- a life of sincere love, true purity, and purposeful singleness.

My Review

Timeless is the only way I can describe Joshua Harris's books.

Almost 18 years ago, Joshua Harris decided to write a radical book on dating or saying goodbye to it. Now I know what some of you might be thinking "giving up dating? How am I supposed to find the love of my life?"
Here's the thing, he's not saying goodbye to the love of your life, he's saying "find the love of your life God's way, not the worlds way"! This book is not filled with rules and regulations on what to do and not do but rather opens our eyes to the way the world is dating.

"The world takes us to the silver screen on which flickering images of passion and romance play, and as we watch, the world says, "this is love." God takes us to the foot of a tree on which a naked and bloodied man hangs and says, "This is love." 

~ Joshua Harris. 

 I kissed dating is about God and how we can honor Him and love the people he has graced us in our walk on this earth. Worldly dating is selfish and hurtful. Not just for you, but the people you are involved with too. How are we to show the love of Christ to others if we're in such a hurry to take the very hearts intended for God and unwrapping them like they were just a simple candy wrapper for this amazing piece of chocolate? If we're not committed to eating the chocolate then why are we unwrapping it before it's time?
Joshua Harris covers just about everything, even questions I hadn't quite reached yet he answered. Like, "how should I get to know someone if I'm not dating?" And he goes beyond that. Treat all people of the opposite sex as brothers and sisters first and foremost and then if you are interested in someone, pray about he/him and see where God leads you.
He even asks you questions like "where are you in life? Are you ready to be in a committed relationship? Are you ready for marriage?" He even covers commitment and recreational dating and staying pure in the relationships we do/will have.

"Just because something feels good doesn't mean we should pursue it now. We have to remember that the right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing." 

~Joshua Harris 

What I loved about it all was I didn't feel pressured to follow, rather I was inspired to follow and honor God! It made me realize how much I want a relationship that will glorify and make him happy. I almost forgot I was reading a book on dating, which is a good thing. So many people focus on  one aspect in a book that you don't learn what really matters and why it's important. Joshua Harris widened my spectrum to God's love and what I can do to love him back, as well as love and cherish that special someone I have yet to meet and take as my own.

"I encourage you to write a love story with your life that you'll feel proud to tell." 

~Joshua Harris

I am encouraged.

Checkout his second book I reviewed Boy Meets Girl. Saying hello to courthship. You will love it. A beautiful continuation, yet stand alone book, to this wonderful book. You won't be able to put either of them down!

Love Letter

In spirit of Valentines week here is a little writing I did last year. You should love everyone 365/24/7 there's nothing wrong with getting excited over Valentines. Even if you don't have a significant other, make it about your family and friends! Love doesn't stop at a boyfriend/girlfriend! Tell someone you love them today! And don't forget who is the lover of your soul, Jesus. He will love you more than any love could dream of, and we all dream. So don't let any of those lonely feelings steel your joy this week, this month, this year! Make it a joyous one and praise Jesus for being in your life and you being in his. God bless you!

Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris

My own little notes

I've always wanted to read Joshua Harris's books from the first time I laid eyes on his book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" almost ten years ago. It truly intrigued me, I wanted to hear this guys story and what he had to say. But alas, the years went by and I never got around to getting the book. But one day my sister dragged us all into Goodwill (clothes shopping, lol). They had a book section and while my eyes scanned the shelves of scattered book my eyes fell on the name Joshua H. (the rest covered with a sticker). I immediately picked it up and nearly squealed for joy! I'd found a Joshua Harris book and for only $1! It was God's little Christmas present to me that year. I couldn't wait to go home and start reading it, and so I did. 
Valentines is coming up soon and even though it's not a real holiday we all like to let those of whom we love know it (again) or maybe your thinking you wished you were in a relationship. Well then this is the book for you and all your friends. I've already shared this book with my friends who have shared it with some of their friends (and potential interests). Now without further ado, I quick overview of what the book is about and then my thoughts and opinions of it in my review. 

Description 

Purpose Driven Romance 

The last thing singles want is more rules. But if you’re looking for an intentional, God-pleasing game plan for finding a future spouse, Joshua Harris delivers an appealing one. A compelling new foreword, an all-new “8 Great Courtship Conversations” section, and updated material throughout makes this five-year revision of the original Boy Meets Girl a must-have! Harris illustrates how biblical courtship—a healthy, joyous alternative to recreational dating—worked for him and his wife. Boy Meets Girl presents an inspiring, practical example for readers wanting to pursue the possibility of marriage with someone they may be serious about. 

My Review

In Joshua's Harris's Boy Meets Girl I couldn't have found a better book explaining courtship and in such an inspiring way. Before you start reading chapter one there's a little courtship quiz on the back of the book. The very first question was: Is courting more holy than dating? Joshua answered: what matters most is not the terms we use, but that our lives glorify God. You must read chapter 2 for the full explanation, you will love it. Which he talks about the difference between dating for recreation and dating for a purpose. He explains and talks as if you were sitting right in front of him. Not pushing his thoughts on you what so ever, but making you think more deeply on the matter of relationships and what you truly want out of them. 

That's only one chapter, I'd love to go through every chapter with you all (maybe I will one day!). For instance, chapter 4 is one of my favorites. "Tell me how, tell me who, tell me when!" Showing through a story of a friend of his that even though we think we have all our ducks in a row, God may see a few ducks needing some rearranging. And that we need to be patient and follow according to God's timing. Patience is tough!

Joshua Harris even touches on other topics as the relationships progress. In chapter 9: True Love Doesn't Just Wait (How to be passionately in love and sexually pure). Sharing with the reader one of his own experiences with temptation with his fiance and the conversation he had with the Holy Spirit. 

"Who are you kidding? 

I shifted slightly, shut my eyes and tried to ignore the voice.

Your not fooling anyone, it said again. 

Still I didn't answer. Maybe he would go away. Give up. 

Shannon and I had gotten engaged two months earlier. We'd come to visit her mother, Mitzi, at her Ocean City beach house. It was a well deserved break from wedding planning and work. Didn't my conscience need a  break too? 

This is ridiculous Josh, he said again, undeterred. You know this is wrong.   

It had been my idea for Shannon and I to take an afternoon nap in the outdoor hammock. 

"I will not live my life by other people's standards," I told my conscience. "I feel at peace about doing this." 

(This is one of my absolute favorite parts.)

"If you feel such peace about it, why are you arguing with me?"

Hallelujah! I clapped by hands to Jesus for that one, Really, I did! Even though sitting in a hammock doesn't sound like a problem, God said otherwise. In being so close, that physical closeness, to his wife-to-be he was lusting after her but even though she was engaged to him she still was not yet his. I commended him for doing the right thing, it made me so proud. I hope when I have kids, sons I pray but for the girls too, they will grow up to listen to God and do the right thing, Especially when it comes to their relationships with the opposite sex. 

As I kept reading, I realized how much the courtship ways were already instilled upon my heart by God. Most of what Joshua talked about were things I had only, honestly, dreamed about. I didn't know that anyone did those things anymore or if it was something possible to do nowadays. He covered so many questions I hadn't thought about. Like how to:

• Set a clear course for romance
• Getting closer without compromising (like using your lips to communicate rather than kissing lol)
• Finding a support system and community
• Dealing with past sexual sins (of yours or your potential spouse)

I wished there was more to read! The more I read the more I became inspired. Each of his stories made me laugh and cry tears of joy and examine my heart. Though I've never been in a relationship, I know now when the time comes and God does bring that special man into my life, I want to do it right. Not Joshua Harris's way, or courtship vs. dating way, but God's way. A way that will glorify him and make him proud, which will ultimately make me happy and my relationship that much stronger.

Boy Meets Girl is about dating with a purpose and romance chaperoned by wisdom given by God and through his word. So pick up this book and listen to the guy who "kissed dating goodbye" and say hello to courtship!

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