There have been times where I tried to comfort a friend who was depressed. I knew my attempts to "solve" their problem only made it worse. But I didn't know what to do; I felt helpless, too.
But, I too have been on the receiving end of that rope. I've had friends try to solve my problems when I was depressed when all I really needed was for them to listen and maybe just embrace me with comforting arms.
There have been many times when I wished they'd asked more than the simple "How are you?" and then accept the "I'm fine" like I'm actually fine, and then continued on about themselves.
Sometimes all it takes is an encouraging few words to expel someones sadness. Sometimes words alone aren't enough. Just being there for them, not ignoring or excluding them, and not leaving them to be alone is what they need.
One of the ones I wish I had known about sooner, and what might have saved my friendship was
- It's Okay to Go Away
I've always been the kind of person to never leave a friend behind or alone because I hate being alone. And people always tend to leave me because they found something better. I always want to treat people better than how I've been treated. But, sometimes, it's okay to take a break. I've slowly been learning that the last year. When two friends are depressed then you need to take a break from one another. Otherwise, it's just like trying to help a person drowning when in fact you can't swim yourself. You end up just dragging each other under.
Taking a break doesn't mean its over. It just means we all have problems and not one person (except JESUS) can help you with those problems. Just knowing you will always have that friend be there when you get back is what you need.
Next time you see a friend depressed or just sad, be there. Don't worry about fixing the problem or try to figure out what's causing it. Just wrap your arms around them and say "I'm here, I'm not going anywhere".
And if you need a friend, maybe send them the link I shared in this blog. Sometimes, our friends are just as lost as we are and need some help on how to help.
God bless and give someone a hug today!
And if you're not close enough to hug them right now, send them one through prayer!
I've been very blessed through my adult friendships that they've understood when I'm facing a bout of depression, that I need my space. They've learned that texting an encouraging word does wonders, and much more than trying to force me into having company.
ReplyDeleteDealing with depression, especially for those who don't understand it can be hard. Particularly when all they want is to make that person feel better. But giving space is often the best thing.